The Lost Vision
by bellecam21
Summary: The Cullens left and so did Jacob.After Bella is in a serious accident, she finally realizes how important life is.When Jacob finally comes back he imprints on her and the cullens come back bringing Victoria with them...OOC AU lemons; BxJ ***no hazing***
1. The accident

BellaPOV

**The hole was still strong in my chest. It was always there, as if it were alive and breathing. **_**Was it because I loved him too much? Did he just get bored of me? Is that why he left in the first place? Or was it because I was too much of a liability? **_**I kept on thinking as I drove down to my after school job at Newton's selling camping supplies and other shit like that. Whatever. **

**It had gotten even worse since my best friend Jacob left me to fend for myself. He never cared about me, he didn't have to. He has Sam now. **

_**Have I always been so bitchy? Or has my attitude gotten worse since… HE left? **_**I didn't understand why I kept on thinking of him. A sudden wave of memories ran through my mind. I couldn't stand it. I doubled over in pain and started to cry. I didn't even pull over. My truck started to swerve right and left. I heard a horn honking and I tried to sit up. I was completely out of breath. **

**I felt the sudden impact of another truck hit my body. Then there was blackness. **

**JacobPOV**

I walked behind the trees I took my clothes off. Stupid werewolf gene. If it weren't for the gene then I would be allowed to see Bella and love her the proper way. I hated the feeling of not having control.

I phased, using the anger and frustration. I felt the shimmering magic cover my body, allowing me to change. The slight film covered every part of my skin, it shimmered like a vampire's skin in the sunlight, casting beautiful rainbows here and there.

Nobody had noticed that I phased. Everyone was talking at once.

_What should we do? What are alpha's orders? Is she okay? What will Jake Say? Will it cause him pain? Is she going to die? Is she going to live? How bad was she hurt?_

These thoughts filled my head, I was drowning in them. They were like huge tsunamis plowing into me left and right. I couldn't make sense of it all.

_Who's hurt, you guys? _I asked, making everyone go silent.

_She's okay Jake. She IS going to live. _Seth tried to comfort me.

_Seth's right. She's going to be okay. _Leah Chimed in. she was being sympathetic. It must be bad. At the pit of my stomach I had a queasy feeling. In desperation, I tried to make sense of what they were saying. I started to go through Seth's head, since he was to young to know how to shield his thoughts. _I saw a small girl asleep in a hospital bed. Her brown hair was being pulled back into a ponytail by Leah_.

I gave her a strange look, she only shrugged. I looked again.

_She had a black eye, her other eye swollen shut. Her lips were cracked and chapped, and she sighed in content. She looked at Leah and smiled. Leah smiled back. The girl then looked at the doctor and asked "What's the damage done this time?" at the end she smiled a bit. _

"_There are three broken ribs, a broken leg and arm. You also have a slight concussion. I'm afraid you are not in the condition to go home yet, we still have some tests to run to make sure that everything else is okay. We just want to take some precautions. It WAS a bad accident." the doctor smiled softly at the last part in sympathy. _

"_I know. I'm a little sore but other than that I feel fine." she said softly, not being able to speak any louder._

"_You'll probably be able to leave in about a week or two. Don't worry. Everything will be fine." with that said, he left leaving the small, frail girl with Leah and Seth. _

_Leah turned toward the girl and said, "You know what the doctor said-" she was cut off by the mysterious girl._

"_Yeah yeah yeah. I know. I'm not suppose to down play anything. I have to tell them how I'm feeling. Give it to them straight. Blah blah blah." she said, annoyed, trying to glare the best she could with one eye. "Whatever. I'm gonna live. Bottom line. I'm fine." she said the last part exasperated. _

_It was Seth's turn to speak. "What should we tell Jacob?" he asked._

_Pain poured from every pore of her face. "Nothing. He wouldn't care anyway. He left me, remember?" She looked at Seth with those familiar Chocolate brown eyes, about to cry. It hit him right in the chest, understanding and sadness filled him._

Realization hit me like a bolt of lightening. I literally couldn't move. I was stunned. That girl was Bella. _My _Bella.

_Well she isn't YOUR Bella, _Leah said._ You left her, remember? _shame and embarrassment was radiating from her. She felt ashamed and embarrassment for _me. _

_I HAD to leave her, remember?_ I mocked her._ Alpha's orders. End of story._

_That's _exactly _what she wants. _Seth whispered.

_What?!?! _I nearly screamed.

_Haven't you seen the signs Jake? She's dying. She _wants _to die. She can't handle the pain anymore. She's told me about it. She said that it got even worse once you left her. She said she understands why you didn't love her. She still loves you though. You have _no idea_ how she feels. _Seth said back. Almost hateful. _You should go see her, alpha's orders or not._

_Okay Dr. Phil. I'll go see her but…. Why didn't you guys tell me? _I sounded like I was going to cry. Why couldn't they see that I _did_ love her?

_Didn't you hear before? _Leah sneered, playing back the scene of Bella in the bed again, about to cry saying: "_He wouldn't care. He left me remember?" _Her voice echoed in my head.

_I do still love her… _I thought quietly and nobody answered.

**BellaPOV**

"Bells wake up. I'm suppose to wake you up every two hours. You know… to check on you." it was Charlie's rough and throaty voice waking me up.

Slowly, I opened my eyes. Well… _tried_ to open my eyes. One was still swollen shut while on the other one I still had a black eye. I tried to move.

"Ow!" I hissed, then I remembered that I had a couple broken ribs and bruised all over my rib cage.

"Careful there, Bells." Charlie said, over protective and concerned as always.

"Always am." I mocked him, smiling, making him smile back.

"Anyway. How long have I been out?" I couldn't help but ask. "Where's Seth and Leah?"

"Oh, they left." he said, not answering my first question. Oh well, I'll let it go.

"Did they say when they'd be back?" I asked, sounding hopeful.

"Well… they didn't say any specifics just that….. They would be back as soon as they could. They said that there were something's that they needed to take care of." his voice quieting. He was hiding something from me.

"What is it dad?" I growled. "I know when you're lying. Spill it."

He laughed one hard chuckle. :You know me so well." was all he said. I glared at him.

"Okay! Okay!" he raised his hands up in the air in surrender. He took a deep breath before he continued. "Jake came by."

My heart nearly stopped. I couldn't even breath. The monitor next to my bed, recording my heart rate, sped up. It beeped louder and faster.

"Bells?" Charlie asked, anxious.

"Why would he come here?" I nearly cried.

"I don't know but he said it was important and that he needed to see you as soon as possible." he said his voice starting to trail off. He kept on watching my heart monitor. It finally started to gradually slow down.

I sighed. "Anything else?"

"Well… he said he would be back…" his voice trailing off again, watching my heart rate pick up.

"Are you okay Bells? I could go get a doctor…" he said

"No I'm fine. I just need to be alone." my voice started to break. Tears threatened to spill over.

Obviously seeing the break down coming, he bolted out of the room calling over his shoulder: "I'll be down in the cafeteria!"

I smiled softly to myself, but it disappeared as the reality of my situation over came me. I cried my heart out. I cried for every little thing. I cried for the loss and emptiness that was left when the Cullens left, but I mostly mourned for my lost best friend.


	2. Feelings

**BellaPOV**

I brought my good arm to my face, trying to dry my tears, careful to not pull on the I.V. tubes. _Yuck. _I thought bitterly. I hate needles. There was a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I called. There was no way in hell that I would even be _able _to get up just to answer the door. I hated hospitals.

I sniffled. My eyes were closed when I heard a warm, rough voice I used to love so much.

"Hey Bells." the voice said.

My breathing stopped.

_Jacob_.

I didn't answer.

He shifted his feet, uncomfortable.

"How are you feeling?" he asked me. Did he really have to ask?

"How am I feeling? How am I _feeling?_" I nearly screamed. "You left me hanging by a thread. I was dying, Jake. _Dying. _and you left me. You promised that you would never leave me. You said you would never hurt me." my voice quieting to a whisper. "You promised and you lied." I started to cry again.

"No! I didn't lie! I was keeping my promise!" his eyes sincere.

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean Jake? You didn't even care how I _felt. _how could you say that you were _keeping your promise?_" Hurt laced in every word I said.

"I don't know. It hurts me not to being able to explain. I'm so sorry Bells." he whispered. I felt even more enraged.

"I don't _know _Bells? I'm _Sorry _Bells?!" I cried. "You don't know anything about pain and hurt Jacob! Or anything about being _sorry!_ Losing two of your families, and watching them go, broke me into pieces! That is pain! You don't know how much it _hurt _me when you told me to leave. You said to never come back! You lied to me! I lost my best friend and he took the remaining pieces of my heart with him! _That _was hurt! Oh! I almost forgot about being 'sorry'! how about this?" I continued to scream. "I'm sorry that I was ever born! I'm sorry that I didn't die in that car crash!" His face was crumpled in pain and shame. "I'm sorry that I didn't kill myself when I had the chance! I'm sorry that I held onto dear _life _when I got bit by that vamp-" I shut up.

Jacob's head snapped up at the last part. His eyes were bulging.

"What were you going to say?" he whispered, shocked.

Oh, shit.

"N-n-n-nothing." I stuttered. I actually fucking _stuttered. _He just stood there, eyes wide.

"I'll be back later on tonight Bells." He said, then left.

I sat there, strangely comfortable. The memory just proved that _he _was real. I softly stroked my crescent scar. I had just told one of my deepest, darkest secrets.


	3. Welcome home

**JacobPOV**

Jesus! What the fuck was that? She knows! She actually _knows! _I raced across the parking lot and jumped into the Rabbit. My foot slammed on the gas and I took off down the freeway. Everything was a blur of greens and grays. I was doing about 90mph yet it didn't seem to be enough. I kept my mouth clamped shut, afraid that the sob I was trying to hold in, would break free. The air moving in and out of my lungs didn't seem like enough, and pretty soon I was gaping for air. _Focus Jacob. Just make it to La Push and you'll be fine. _Yes. I would be fine. I would be able to phase and not feel any emotions that would normally kill me in human form. _Yes. I just need to phase. _I sighed. No matter what form, I knew that I couldn't keep these feelings away for too long. They always came back. _Wow, I sound so morbid. _I couldn't help but laugh letting loose the tears I was trying to keep back.

The Silent tears fell from my eyes, making my driving worse. My mind contemplated whether or not I should pull over. I didn't want to slow down, I already felt like I was slowly drowning in water. _But, _if I don't then I might crash and go to the hospital. I shuddered. For some crazy reason, trying to explain _why _I manage to heal miraculously, didn't seem like the funnest idea.

Again, I laughed at how depressed I sounded. I was looking for a place to pull over to, but I found the most wonderful thing ever. The off ramp to La Push. It was like a life preserver, a security blanket, if you will. The sign was worn down in some spots, with drops of rain clinging for life on the smooth surface. My foot inched forward on the gas pedal, moving and urging the car faster. Soon after, my little red house was in view. I slammed my foot down on the brakes and yanked the keys out of the ignition.

I ran, letting the fire ripple down my spine, leaving a hot trail in its wake. My clothes burst into jagged scraps behind me, nothing but shavings. I was a wolf and I ran. The feelings that I wanted to get rid of were still there and there was nothing I else I could do to get rid of it. Nothing.

_Jacob!_

_What's up Jake!_

_Hey Jake!_

The pack greeted me but I paid no attention to them. Everybody shut up once they realized what mood I was in. My insides felt like they were being slashed into tiny little pieces with sharp, small razors.

_Everyone phase back and let me talk to Jake alone. _The alpha's voice echoed in my head. There was a hollow buzzing noise in my ears.

Everyone looked to me to see if I would object and let them listen, but I stayed quiet like the good, little broken wolf I was. One by one they faded, leaving me alone with Sam.

_Jacob, tell me everything that happened. _He was ruthless and I told him everything. It was almost like a confession to a priest. Sam was my better, my leader, and everything I wasn't; calm, patient, and a better wolf. God I was pathetic.

"Hey Jake!" Bella's voice sounded relieved that I was here. Yeah, _so _happy that I came back like I always did, huh?

"Hey Bells." and that was my response everyday and the days to come. I would visit her everyday and care for her. She seemed to forgive me and open up to me more than she had before. Things would flow smoothly, until _they _were brought up. She seemed to crack at the mere mention of the name.

"I know it hurts but eventually it will get better…" I tried to soothe her.

"I hope so" her muffled voice sobbed into my chest.

_**4 months later**_

"Come on Bells, I got you. Don't worry I'll catch you if you fall." I had my hands on her elbow and the small of her back.

She laughed quietly, "Catch me like you always do, huh?"

"Yeah a knight and shining armor, I am." I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

Bella was finally leaving the hospital. My silent screams of joy were more powerful than my vocal screams. I was jumping up and down outside her room as the nurse helped dress her. Just thinking of how I looked made me crack up, and blush a little. Helping her into the car I made sure she was all set, buckled her in and shut the door.

"Sheesh, Jake I'm not that helpless. I think I can close the door at least by myself.

"Just trying to be careful Bells." Blushing a little at her response.

"Yeah….well… I wish you would have learned by now that I'm not that breakable." She muttered.

Typical Bella-I rolled my eyes again.

"If you give me some reliable evidence that that statement was true, I might actually take you seriously." I shot back.

She glared at me, "Well I can walk down a flight of stairs and every once in a while I might trip. Most likely not though. You know, a one in a million chance." She grinned smugly that she found a point.

"Yeah about that 'One in a million chance'…didn't you fall down two flights of stairs last spring?…you know…In Phoenix?" I shot back equally as smug.

Her smile disappeared as she rubbed her forearm.

"Yeah, in Phoenix…Stupid stairs." She muttered again except this time in a dreamy state. She was lying, I knew that much, but about what specifically I had no clue…. It was time I found out how she knew about the supernatural.

***In the car ride to Charlie's***

"Hey Jake… let's go to La Push instead…I'll call my dad to meet us there." Bella whispered….almost as if she were afraid to go home too soon.

"Yeah…okay….sure. Do you have a phone?" I asked tentatively not so sure as to why she didn't want to go home and was afraid that I'd say the wrong thing.

"No." She sighed.

"Okay then. You can use mine." I said handing her my tiny flip phone.

"Thanks Jake." she sighed relieved.

"No problem." I said bobbling my head a little in the most nonchalant way, trying to make it seem like I wasn't curious as to why she didn't want to go home.

"He's….it seems like… he's still…there. It's too hard to go back right now." She whispered almost too low for me to hear.

I felt a deep pang in my heart. To see her hurting was the worst thing right now. I can't believe they had hurt her that deeply.

"I know honey, I know it's hard." I whispered to her pulling her close to my side and kissing her hair.

"Thanks Jake. That's really what I need right now…I need my personal shining sun." There was a faint hint of a smile at her lips.

"Ha yeah…and you are the little white clouds. You sure are white enough to be… I help keep you balanced very nicely don't you think?" I teased.

"Yeah you sure do help…" she snorted, "I guess I am white enough… me a little freakish albino."

"Nah you're not albino…your just…really white that's all." I said trying not to snort myself.

She rolled her eyes, "At least I was right about the 'freakish' part."

"Nah Bells, you're not a freak. Your human."

"Yeah…just a stupid fragile human." Almost too low for me to hear.

He had left her this broken and hurt… and no matter what, someday he was gonna have to deal with the consequences…me.

***15 MINUTES LATER***

Pulling up to Sam and Emily's house, Jared, Paul, Sam, Emily, Embry, Billy, Sue, Leah., Seth, and Charlie came running out of the house.

"Hey Bella!"

"Sup Bella!"

"You're out of the hospital!"

"Looking good!"

"Hey did Jake bust you out or what?"

Was the responses we got when I opened my door. Jogging to the passengers side, I saw that Bella had already managed to open the door and put one unsteady foot out. I caught up to her before she could get all the way out.

Holding onto her elbow, I guided her safely to the porch where everyone was practically bouncing in their seats.

Bella was actually smiling more again. By the time we made it to the porch swing, I was smiling like a fool.

"Hey there Bells, good to have you back." Sam said, brotherly, and gave her a peck on the forehead.

"Thanks Sam, it's good to be back." She kissed his cheek, blushing a little but glad to have a soul brother like Sam.

"Paul!" Bella cried gleefully when Paul picked her up by the waist and swung her in a small circle. She giggled when he gave her a kiss on the cheek too.

"It's good to see you again. I've missed that white albino skin that practically glows in the dark!" he chuckled.

"Yeah make fun of my whiteness Mr. Hissy Fit!" she said punching him playfully on the shoulder.

"Hey! Those are fighting words missy!" Paul exclaimed while messing up her hair.

"Hey!" She cried and tried to smooth down her hair after slapping Paul in the back while he snickered, when all of a sudden Embry picked her up; carrying her like a bride he set her down on the swinging bench and gave her a heart warming kiss, saying "Welcome back sis" before departing so that Leah, Seth, Emily and Jared could give their welcomes. Bella's eyes were welting up with tears before it was almost over.

"Hey Charlie, you wanna help me inside with the drinks?" Emily chimed in happily. Five minutes ago all the welcomes finally ended and people were sitting around the porch chatting almost like they had no troubles in the world.

"Yeah, uh, sure Em." Charlie's gruff voice answered, embarrassed. They both got up and left.

There was silence for two whole beats before I was just about to burst with questions when Bella beat me to the punch.

"So I'm guessing that you're wondering how I know, huh, Jake? …All of you guys know that I know right?" She whispered.

There were nods from everyone.

She sighed before she went on, "So right when I moved to Forks I met the Cullens. Edward seemed like he hated me and I was curious to know why." She swallowed hard when she said his name, but continued on like there was nothing wrong.

"Well a couple weeks after I got here, I met Jake again." she smiled faintly at me, "And he told me of your guys' legends…about the Cold Ones. Pretty soon, I put two and two together about the Cullens, given the fact that their eyes change color, they're as pale as death, and they appeared to be super strong…" She shuddered, momentarily dazed by another memory before continuing on. "Last spring, when I went to Phoenix, it was really because I was running from nomad vampires. Two of them. Well things didn't go too well and I ended up getting bitten by one." She started rubbing at her arm absentmindedly.

Everyone gasped in shock… I'm pretty sure I was one of those people.

"Well what happened? You're human now!" Jared whispered

"Edward saved me. He sucked out the venom…." she said. The next thing she was going to say wouldn't have been heard if all of us weren't werewolves.

"He saved me two times and after that he always left me standing alone and heartbroken."


End file.
